By Susan , 22-Feb-2012 20:47:00
Do you remember that game you used to play when you were a kid? Whenever someone got too close you were supposed to take a step back to leave room for your guardian angel to protect you. The game was to see who didn’t have one. Well it’s a game everyone’s playing now, only they don’t leave enough space for an I-phones these days.
It seems to me that there are three things going on today that no-one’s owning up to:
1. Invasion of personal space.
2. Folk watch you like you’re a television programme and don’t have the decency to look away when you catch them.
3. Nobody thanks you for holding the door open for them.
Life in the digital century is becoming more and more impersonal.
Mind you, I must admit to being guilty of mindless gawping myself – I knew I was staring, but I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was sat in the doctor’s waiting room when two teenage girls sat down opposite me and started talking,
Blondie: “It’s like what I said.”
Blondie: “If we’d gone it’d have been well cool.”
Blondie: “I heard it was bangin’.”
Brownie: “Innit…what, Jamie’s?”
Blondie: “You douche! Int you listening, you thick sod?”
Blondie: “Rolf p-m-s-l…What you like?”
What on earth were they talking about? Was it even English? I mean, I could understand that CB talk when our Gary was a teenager. “Ten-four good buddy, breaker on the side.” I used to have my own handle, Vodoo King, and go on our Gary’s radio when he was out, but this ‘innit’ lingo beggars belief. It’s all ‘I has’ and ‘we has’, everyone’s a ‘douche’ and no-one gets it because they haven’t got the syndrome.
I’ll be coming back to Teen talk in the coming weeks, but, look out…what’s with the Silent Invasion of the Multi-coloured Macaroons? It’s nothing like the Attack of the American Muffin. I mean they killed off the British fairy cake in style with their regiments of double choc chip, sticky toffee, Sicilian lemon and raspberry and pear…but these characterless little discs with their funny French signs are popping up in every other coffee shop and baker’s. It’s invasion by stealth… or are they hiding video cameras for the douchebags to watch on Youtube?
You are viewing the text version of this site.
Need help? check the requirements page.